tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72911887038538291272024-02-07T19:08:14.641-08:00HOW TO MURDER THE EARTHCOMIC BOOKS ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOUjoshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-8510937272193833352011-04-15T04:25:00.001-07:002011-04-18T16:36:51.034-07:00Recent Moviesrecent for me, I mean. These were all first-viewings for me. In reverse order:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Dog Day Afternoon - Sidney Lumet</span><br /><br />Pretty good, but filmed with all the visual flair of a Lifetime Original Movie. (I had that thought while watching and then immediately felt really bad, since Lumet just died.) The script felt like it wanted to be a play and not a movie. I saw Before the Devil Knows You're Dead when it came out and I liked it better than I liked this.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Alien - Ridley Scott</span><br /><br />Holy shit. Dog Day Afternoon was a movie starring real people based on real events that took place on planet Earth, and yet somehow the characters and situations in Alien seem more real to me -- except maybe for the parts near the end when the menace has evolved into a dude in a monster suit, posing and staring. <br /><br />The movie takes a very weird turn in the final act. Ripley, who throughout the film has not been sexualized in any way, is suddenly in her underwear with the crack of her ass hanging out all over the place, hiding in a closet while a disgusting, dripping phallus protrudes from the creature that is menacing her. I don't really know what to say about that. Was the whole movie about sexual terror, and I was too dopey to pick up on it until the very end? I guess so. I think I read once that HR Geiger's initial designs for the aliens were rejected on the grounds that they were too explicitly genital.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Conversation - Francis Ford Coppola</span><br /><br />I'm probably overreacting, but my initial response was that this is the best movie I've ever seen.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">An Education - Lone Scherfig</span><br /><br />It's like a film just sprung up around a young girl, as the world's way of recognizing how beautiful and charming she is. I love everyone's accents and everyone's clothes and Alfred Molina.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Godfather, Part II - Francis Ford Coppola</span><br /><br />Okay so I realize that both <span style="font-style:italic;">Godfather</span>s have been apostheosized into Important Film Heaven, but actually this movie is boring as shit and borderline unwatchable and Coppola didn't give a fuck about the Godfather and neither do I. Pacino's performance is interesting to watch as the guy who is trying to be the Noble Criminal that his father was but inwardly just seething at every moment, and it's fun listening to DeNiro doing Brando but otherwise there is just nothing going on here. Thematically and visually it is an absolute fucking bore. What is this movie about! Who cares! Comparing this movie to The Conversation is a textbook demonstration of the kind of work an artist does on a project he's passionate about versus what he does to pay the bills.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-32069263115803611452011-03-06T11:55:00.000-08:002011-03-06T16:26:15.551-08:00Spider-Man looks like a terrorist<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIRZF0rW4mCTb8mt0K-rtJpUDcR9qY-5mTtB3OdDTWgO89wRezdWiwCCEsSsZjLgpmenlC1VtnSd0zTwy2wxQxQqgb-aMqgZ3YGFRt4cZmhfX2CaoZdOmhZrQVB57LBTp5rBaZ8wLwED6/s1600/spidey3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 296px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIRZF0rW4mCTb8mt0K-rtJpUDcR9qY-5mTtB3OdDTWgO89wRezdWiwCCEsSsZjLgpmenlC1VtnSd0zTwy2wxQxQqgb-aMqgZ3YGFRt4cZmhfX2CaoZdOmhZrQVB57LBTp5rBaZ8wLwED6/s400/spidey3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581121708582931330" /></a><br />Does Spider-Man ever wonder if the public would be less suspicious of him, if he were to wear a less menacing outfit? The defining characteristic of most superheroes is that you can tell nearly everything about the character just by looking at them:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiwddyyUmp0NUozcADzx84rk9PN3oRvmQDR_cwduvkW4lgERGS462JF9kccS_a4ddiFhA2r0m6csH3oN7OCvk9Ut7OcB-8Dn8keKhqVmxUhp01U4wHcfOTDfHel1Z5soyEL_3jvqX7XFSA/s1600/superman.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 271px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiwddyyUmp0NUozcADzx84rk9PN3oRvmQDR_cwduvkW4lgERGS462JF9kccS_a4ddiFhA2r0m6csH3oN7OCvk9Ut7OcB-8Dn8keKhqVmxUhp01U4wHcfOTDfHel1Z5soyEL_3jvqX7XFSA/s400/superman.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581117586521484034" /></a><br />Superman, the superheroic ideal.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyrs7u08KvzIB6IGiOrfzh5aNYO1QnRiGHFGMhtT705SK83VoPkR8GsYCG_qaJNE4IP20_6ztbHqA8ebKHfhQEOAbA8njmTCIdUCORTDosKLiiWdpPvS5gdZR_XRESSyavguzlPqxtpN0J/s1600/Wallpaper+Batman+Corgi+Neal+Adams.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyrs7u08KvzIB6IGiOrfzh5aNYO1QnRiGHFGMhtT705SK83VoPkR8GsYCG_qaJNE4IP20_6ztbHqA8ebKHfhQEOAbA8njmTCIdUCORTDosKLiiWdpPvS5gdZR_XRESSyavguzlPqxtpN0J/s400/Wallpaper+Batman+Corgi+Neal+Adams.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581117822368374050" /></a><br /><br />Batman, dark avenger. And so on -- Captain America is literally draped in the American flag, the symbol of all he represents; and even Wonder Woman, who is some kind of Amazonian goddess (I guess?) runs around in USA panties, so that everyone knows what she stands for. This strong visual identity is what separates the iconic superheroes from the middling, second-tier characters:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWfIq9i4a5pf2roVUjVck8rBv54on1chwanDoIXmzvAjXfKXXWBhUOv1aHnhcfmH9-42h2HNSWdRi_ZM9i0965OGnzm5HNJWYS-qroO-CQHAlBFLpmLCTAsD0j5jlp3dNSTgL9RkNxLNge/s1600/greenlantern.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 391px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWfIq9i4a5pf2roVUjVck8rBv54on1chwanDoIXmzvAjXfKXXWBhUOv1aHnhcfmH9-42h2HNSWdRi_ZM9i0965OGnzm5HNJWYS-qroO-CQHAlBFLpmLCTAsD0j5jlp3dNSTgL9RkNxLNge/s400/greenlantern.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581120178725618002" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Greetings, reader, I'm the Green Lantern! See, I was a pilot, and then an alien gave me this ring -- yeah, no, it's actually a ring, not a lantern -- that enables me to do... things. You know, green things.</span><br /><br />Spider-Man is an exception to this rule, in that he's become an icon in spite of the direct conflict between his visual image and his character. He's Peter Parker, everyman, trying to live up to his powers and his Uncle's legacy, all while having to pay his bills, keep his girlfriend happy, and deal with a boss who hates him. He's a regular guy! To illustrate this, he has chosen to dress like a villainous French art thief:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBt0Wdza_EU6ntzT6fXbao-MsqYAzPd67rifOa8HnsT2ZYf1RWS7a1NK7X50JGQy0aJiMOUj6NAuy3buiE-oE2cYgcq0j7T-z7Jl3S0GtvkIGuJuk90MLX-U8Z6R8tPy_Dqjd6Y14cPCQo/s1600/spidey1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 260px; height: 374px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBt0Wdza_EU6ntzT6fXbao-MsqYAzPd67rifOa8HnsT2ZYf1RWS7a1NK7X50JGQy0aJiMOUj6NAuy3buiE-oE2cYgcq0j7T-z7Jl3S0GtvkIGuJuk90MLX-U8Z6R8tPy_Dqjd6Y14cPCQo/s400/spidey1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581120442192899874" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Hand over the fucking Picasso, or I'll ensnare you in my disgusting webs and devour you at my leisure</span><br /><br />One of the recurring themes of Spider-Man stories is his constant frustration that, no matter how often he saves the day, the public at large still distrusts him. Is he really this oblivious about his image? Do the feelings of alienation he developed in high school run so deep that, unconsciously, he longs to remain an outsider? Did Steve Ditko design this bitchin' costume before giving any thought to who was going to be wearing it?<br /><br />The untimely death of the Human Torch has given Spider-Man the chance to live out his dream and become a member of the Fantastic Four. Will he make the most of this opportunity to reinvent himself?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEMhbXnrwrmne_Qwa41t3ESY7-mZM3m_FfakVBOWHW5jMFDzZOhAnJ8bI8lFmWkBYfzD5wpayUTCrv8ushwZRV8TmpIN1801BwNoUG0mQHuGzDkqcnhMhweotA8muRsBA861f6gYZ6N1mx/s1600/the-future-foundation-spider-man.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEMhbXnrwrmne_Qwa41t3ESY7-mZM3m_FfakVBOWHW5jMFDzZOhAnJ8bI8lFmWkBYfzD5wpayUTCrv8ushwZRV8TmpIN1801BwNoUG0mQHuGzDkqcnhMhweotA8muRsBA861f6gYZ6N1mx/s400/the-future-foundation-spider-man.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581120661993679458" /></a><br /><br />Nope, still looks like a terrorist. Spider-Man: Public menace since 1962joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-46394246611233396172009-08-31T14:35:00.000-07:002009-09-01T15:20:27.755-07:00FANTASTIC FOUR #570<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfwKqdV_RuMToDGvN2pwCpemRIn7cXRSVa1zo5h753iRfqPJRiaOwugl_UxRk-FKJ73mfL3DXSBIUoPMRNGDrGpCG813eU21gbYr1VJqe0Lmo5EecskfieVbvFYaIVUnzF5sBJHVuWI2NV/s1600-h/ffullpotential.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 391px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfwKqdV_RuMToDGvN2pwCpemRIn7cXRSVa1zo5h753iRfqPJRiaOwugl_UxRk-FKJ73mfL3DXSBIUoPMRNGDrGpCG813eU21gbYr1VJqe0Lmo5EecskfieVbvFYaIVUnzF5sBJHVuWI2NV/s400/ffullpotential.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376627010668487634" /></a><br /><br /><br />Mr. Fantastic, not content to rest on his laurels after an incredible streak of recent achievements (which include provoking the Hulk into destroying much of New York City, orchestrating the Gitmo-style imprisonment of his fellow superheroes, provoking <i>an alien invasion</i>), has dreamed up his wildest, most brilliant idea yet: <b>Solve everything</b>. I never would have thought of that. For Reed, this means creating a blasphemous device which grants him congress with the alternate Mr. Fantastics of a thousand worlds, and together they plot to alter the very fabric of reality to reflect their own megalomaniacal whims. If he really wants a challenge, perhaps he could hold off on tampering with the DNA of the universe and take another crack at curing the <a href="http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/img/t/Thing.jpg">horrific deformities</a> he inflicted upon his best friend <i>fifty years ago</i>. Hey, though, good job launching a rocket into outer space, mere men would have never dared dream it!joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-71577897491721746702009-08-16T17:20:00.000-07:002009-08-16T17:46:10.760-07:00THOR #602<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMFf3CRAvMNfeeHEP9g4V5dPVRKGXlhnn7oDGQvRtGwoJG9cswSF6cqgc2UAu6xKLLSg1J4fT9Gi31PyZkhKBIjM9mTeNGcLG1Hv7kVOMb0_ROO23AeNAXxx3ZnIYDGqRSqV645M1YrT5i/s1600-h/thor602loki.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 276px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMFf3CRAvMNfeeHEP9g4V5dPVRKGXlhnn7oDGQvRtGwoJG9cswSF6cqgc2UAu6xKLLSg1J4fT9Gi31PyZkhKBIjM9mTeNGcLG1Hv7kVOMb0_ROO23AeNAXxx3ZnIYDGqRSqV645M1YrT5i/s320/thor602loki.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370727567558000034" /></a><br /><br /><br />Thor calls upon Dr. Strange, Sorcerer Supreme and blacksmith extraordinaire, to repair his damaged hammer (at the cost of his Odinescense or whatever) in time for the Thunder God to <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/thor602oldwoman.jpg">rob a ludicrously decrepit old woman of her soul</a>, thereby reincarnating his lost lover Sif. Meanwhile, William the short-order cook attempts to convince the Gods of Asgard that Dr. Doom means to betray them, but frankly if the name "Dr. Doom" was not enough warning then I fear there may be no reaching them.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-79574782053895429242009-08-16T16:46:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:38:34.235-07:00CABLE #17<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga6Y4LMdImZJZyPC_xiFc3NBTuzwA_Q-VU4L4jy97QYJyCG9udm_VplqY8UZA_Ig7U_aGUks54hnf2_y8RtewR_-bVOb0yx5EigWQTvIIY9nT3F64QMoii8W9mi3W1A9w45oXwLrgHYCk/s1600-h/CABLE17.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 355px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga6Y4LMdImZJZyPC_xiFc3NBTuzwA_Q-VU4L4jy97QYJyCG9udm_VplqY8UZA_Ig7U_aGUks54hnf2_y8RtewR_-bVOb0yx5EigWQTvIIY9nT3F64QMoii8W9mi3W1A9w45oXwLrgHYCk/s400/CABLE17.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370719355798444658" /></a><br /><br />Having succeeded in his quest to turn the Earth into such a living shithole that there will be no future for Cable to flee into, Bishop takes control of the last remaining city and hunts for Hope at the scene of humanity's last stand. Cable, having been separated from Hope for two years while suffering from the loss of telekinetic control over the techno-organic virus that plagues his body, arrives to find a now adolescent Hope living in hiding, protected by a boy she's fallen in love with. Horrified at this, Cable steals a rocket built by the inhabitants of the city (their last hope for escaping the dying Earth and preserving the human race) and flies off into space. I realize Bishop and Cable believe that none of this will count if Hope dies/lives (depending on which one you ask) and I hope one of them is right, because otherwise these two assholes are going to have a lot to answer for.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-50765286617671706862009-05-17T15:34:00.001-07:002009-08-16T19:39:39.594-07:00STAR TREK: CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-q02w-UqXQcM3P_TByO80qTAgHg5dBgQMZFvv9Tm3EjwiiMLJieS8pt_rZTqIXCL9mxV33VpMCR_0GE1kML4a3SXyRkmFL7FQ64OD2X_5EplpRKrTUL5bzyaMcngpZc9VLQI9cB9S5dCM/s1600-h/300px-Cordrazine_frenzy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 259px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-q02w-UqXQcM3P_TByO80qTAgHg5dBgQMZFvv9Tm3EjwiiMLJieS8pt_rZTqIXCL9mxV33VpMCR_0GE1kML4a3SXyRkmFL7FQ64OD2X_5EplpRKrTUL5bzyaMcngpZc9VLQI9cB9S5dCM/s400/300px-Cordrazine_frenzy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336935596507639618" /></a><br /><br />In a state of sweaty, paranoid frenzy due to an accidental injection of space-crack, Dr. McCoy lunges into a time portal and unravels the threads of Earth's history, causing the Enterprise to fade from existence. <br /><br />With the help of a big talking rock, Kirk and Spock are able to roughly pinpoint McCoy's place in time and arrive in Depression-era NYC meaning to stop his madness. Kirk wastes no time in romancing the first history-woman he meets -- Edith Keeler, a social worker who feeds the local derelicts on the condition that they submit to her lectures and wild, baseless predictions for the future (that are made only slightly less demented-sounding by our knowledge that they will come true) -- but soon Spock utilizes the series of tubes and colorful lights he's constructed to reveal the awful truth: she is a loathsome fucking hippie, and unless she dies, she will single-handedly poison America's will to stand against Germany and Hitler will conquer the world and cancel the future. Edith Keeler must die.<br /><br />Meanwhile, McCoy arrives in the past and harasses street people with his paranoid delusions until stumbling into Edith's mission, where she nurses him back to sanity. Bones is overjoyed when he finds Kirk and Spock also in the past, but when Edith senselessly blunders into the street, Kirk must make the heartrending decision to stop McCoy from pushing her out of the path of oncoming traffic. Love dies, the future lives. "Let's get the hell out of here," Kirk says.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-52128163219854095962009-05-13T07:48:00.000-07:002010-06-20T13:44:34.609-07:00UNCANNY X-MEN #509<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZf5imSbXUzem3X30b63niSBceeCiwy8_njEM2USsHHXcENdKdFRx4KLQwKdwlTn4klDS9wk6fqMvgbAEO4OAwLqfMjBnOAh7J4tL-HmGOvs9WJJ9fI1HTfc3GNNZWkrQM7sVAyp6wp0/s1600-h/uncanny509cover.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 260px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZf5imSbXUzem3X30b63niSBceeCiwy8_njEM2USsHHXcENdKdFRx4KLQwKdwlTn4klDS9wk6fqMvgbAEO4OAwLqfMjBnOAh7J4tL-HmGOvs9WJJ9fI1HTfc3GNNZWkrQM7sVAyp6wp0/s400/uncanny509cover.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335331693209336850" /></a><br /><br />The X-Men are enjoying their new, idyllic life in San Francisco: a beautiful, tolerant land where mutants can live openly, a land where they are free to carry out their own brand of lawless, brutal justice in the streets, free to instruct young children while dressed in garish S&M costumes. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJl20t9h68DtKKls7_Ti9LmYICWW27xxV-OyZlMQPwsTVa-lNQhxrkiY37fhLlNQFR3byMWHypzoM8ZlfbMH72mL_6PkEfZULOTi73tr8zNL5XwIGflEMGbFrNdVPfG5i_ayrx8lkLFbg/s1600-h/emmateaching.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 283px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJl20t9h68DtKKls7_Ti9LmYICWW27xxV-OyZlMQPwsTVa-lNQhxrkiY37fhLlNQFR3byMWHypzoM8ZlfbMH72mL_6PkEfZULOTi73tr8zNL5XwIGflEMGbFrNdVPfG5i_ayrx8lkLFbg/s400/emmateaching.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335331591513207058" /></a><br />It all seems too good to be true, and naturally the state of California has introduced a ballot initiative (Proposition X) which would institute mandatory sterilization of all mutants. Cyclops feels confident that the measure will be defeated, but the others are (perhaps justifiably) uncomfortable with their right to breed being put to a vote. On top of that, Scott has to deal with everyone <span style="font-style:italic;">crawling up his ass</span> about the supposed problems he's having with Emma. Apparently everyone in his life has pinned all their hopes for love on the success of this relationship, but maybe the guy just feels like sleeping on the couch sometimes, y'know? <br /><br />As if the prospect of forced castration and relationship trouble weren't enough to keep him up at night, Scott's demented ex-wife (X-Wife?) has assembled a Sisterhood of Evil mutants, full of vague, supernatural plans for destroying the X-Men and conquering death that center on reincarnating Psylocke as their mindless slave and repeatedly stabbing Wolverine. This is what you get, when you marry the evil clone of your high school sweetheart and then act all surprised when she turns out to be The Goblin Queen.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-19741028578391261722009-05-04T17:40:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:14:21.177-07:00THOR #601<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpYwp3a3ETyv11zBVmHtA7t5aOAv8Z-JrI-ZIYadbQ25VltM4ECJ8e1m8ZPu-u6h8bbVsBxvbzN9y28ceoF8_Qyhq0kJ8Q0VwWcr19dTmuH1sO3PU7D0xZr2ao7icv5Gg2PKx03gwlzTU/s1600-h/thor601.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpYwp3a3ETyv11zBVmHtA7t5aOAv8Z-JrI-ZIYadbQ25VltM4ECJ8e1m8ZPu-u6h8bbVsBxvbzN9y28ceoF8_Qyhq0kJ8Q0VwWcr19dTmuH1sO3PU7D0xZr2ao7icv5Gg2PKx03gwlzTU/s400/thor601.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332139975013229314" /></a><br /><br />In this issue, everyone is as busy as beavers! <br /><br />- Thor sits in a field pondering the fate of his hammer, which broke a little after he smashed his grandfather in the face with it; <br /><br />- Balder agrees to relocate to Latveria, despite his reservations; <br /><br />- Dr. Doom researches exotic foods on Wikipedia; <br /><br />- Volstagg becomes hopelessly drunk, shares a moment of tender understanding with a goat, throws things around, and yells at his fellows for abandoning Thor ("codpiece sniffer" is not an accusation to be made lightly, but Volstagg was angry and ashamed and I understand why he felt like he had to go there); <br /><br />- a beautiful lady of Asgard falls in love, quite plausibly, with a short order cook<br /><br />and there was some other stuff about Loki's female form actually being the body of Thor's beloved Sif, and that she's going to die now that Loki is abandoning it. IDK, I didn't pay much attention to this, except to wonder how Thor failed to notice that his evil half-brother had been reincarnated in the body of his estranged lover. Thor: God of Thunder, not Keen Observation.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-44441630057041210402009-05-04T15:00:00.000-07:002009-05-13T15:16:44.903-07:00DAREDEVIL #118<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhCnOcGdExQZW-zJam3j2gXuDHinBAjRwXssWN8ms7trYzUIRrw-Qs_9rNmOYVCJuhTb6f94UWob4JsfV5G56rWrIhPRwRCMRG7YXr943AasEHy9XZogpHvNtaV7TZgILo3rp4N0GnGhE/s1600-h/daredevil118.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 295px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhCnOcGdExQZW-zJam3j2gXuDHinBAjRwXssWN8ms7trYzUIRrw-Qs_9rNmOYVCJuhTb6f94UWob4JsfV5G56rWrIhPRwRCMRG7YXr943AasEHy9XZogpHvNtaV7TZgILo3rp4N0GnGhE/s400/daredevil118.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332123713424793154" /></a><br /><br />Daredevil gets yelled at by his supporting cast, who disapprove of his alliance with the Kingpin, and more generally of the way in which he's been fucking up his life and the lives of the people around him. Foggy, in particular, is so pissed that he fires Matt from their law firm. Can he... do that? Meanwhile, Kingpin bickers with the ghost of his ex-wife (who appears to be literally visible to him), and sets his plot to destroy Lady Bullseye into motion by sending Leland "The Owl" Owlsley to hire her for a <span style="font-style:italic;">mysterious job</span>. Maybe his plan is to hire her to kill HERSELF.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-52835088961176174932009-04-12T15:22:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:16:48.034-07:00LAST DAYS OF BRUCE WAYNEThe last days of Bruce Wayne were fateful and momentous: betrayed by his lover Jetsabel Jet to the Black Glove, an evil organization of wealthy socialite criminals whose raison d'être is to corrupt and destroy noble souls, Bruce was attacked with a post-hypnotic suggestion that had been implanted during his time in an isolation chamber (he was trying to simulate madness in an attempt to better understand the Joker), and, just for kicks, they also shoot him up with heroin and crystal meth before dumping him in the ghetto. If Batman has a super-power, though, it is his uncanny level of preparedness against any possible assault, and to protect himself in the event of an attack on his mind, Bruce used the memory of one of his isolation hallucinations as the basis for a safe mode for the operating system of his brain: the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcO9asjvPDrIepqBIk6po8yyC42tzHwWO6ZXmKQ4qJb98zT5DHE5i6NbHvP3M0p1elHBNeUe4nml9Sj7E2DjPhv1tmHSVCBBm4ZKn8O8ULAJTsNCsA27SJV5OGmtEKHfp0BmHnjm57XjA/s1600-h/ZUR-EN-ARRH.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 253px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcO9asjvPDrIepqBIk6po8yyC42tzHwWO6ZXmKQ4qJb98zT5DHE5i6NbHvP3M0p1elHBNeUe4nml9Sj7E2DjPhv1tmHSVCBBm4ZKn8O8ULAJTsNCsA27SJV5OGmtEKHfp0BmHnjm57XjA/s400/ZUR-EN-ARRH.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323948977491558482" /></a><span style="font-style:italic;"><blockquote>Above: Batman has lost his mind.</blockquote></span><br /><br />The Batman of Zur-En-Arrh prowls the streets, beating the agents of the Black Glove half to death with a baseball bat and ultimately confronting their leader in his stronghold at Arkham Asylum. There, Black Glove kingpin Dr. Jonathan Hurt feebly tries to convince Bruce first that he is actually his father, Thomas Wayne, and when that doesn't work he claims to be Satan (I guess) and offers to let Bruce live on the condition that he become his manservant. Somewhat predictably, Bruce rejects this offer, and in the ensuing melee a helicopter explodes and Batman is presumed dead. <br /><br />BUT! In fact, Bruce survived the explosion, and is immediately called away on Justice League business to investigate the murder of the New God Orion, who was killed by a bullet of radion fired backwards through time. In the course of his investigation into this act of deicide, he is captured by the servants of Darkseid and is subject to weeks of psychic torture before overcoming his captors through the sheer force of his will, finally coming face-to-face with the Dark God himself. In his final moment, Batman breaks his vow to never kill or use a firearm -- and, armed with the same bullet that was used to kill Orion, he achieves the ultimate fulfillment of his life's mission by murdering the cosmic personification of evil, before falling victim to the dread Omega Sanction, becoming hopelessly dislodged from time and space. Batman RIP.<br />joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-37277854017385889352009-04-08T18:11:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:05:06.091-07:00First Church of the New Gods<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fnlXWa8ve8foIBk_HuHkCNri8aWEHPj95YA-nrkGnQRvRFvSm8b3UHYLR2f37G9ASOO-gbBq-PgkomCXDc5GaP-RTqB1c03me70eQ1FyZoCVyHnztVa7JoFppK4E8e9YHAZROItKJzc/s1600-h/New+Gods+1.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 260px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fnlXWa8ve8foIBk_HuHkCNri8aWEHPj95YA-nrkGnQRvRFvSm8b3UHYLR2f37G9ASOO-gbBq-PgkomCXDc5GaP-RTqB1c03me70eQ1FyZoCVyHnztVa7JoFppK4E8e9YHAZROItKJzc/s400/New+Gods+1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322685631962673314" /></a><br /><br />FRIENDS: <span style="font-weight:bold;">DO NOT WASTE ANOTHER PRAYER</span> on sweaty desert gods who may never return! There are <span style="font-weight:bold;">NEW GODS</span>, and their struggles will decide the fate of all free peoples of the universe! Pray instead to Highfather, he who can read the will of the Source! Pray for mighty Orion, who fights for Earth! Pray for his strength, so that he might overcome the servants of Apokalips! Pray for his soul, so that he might travel through darkness and not become lost! Finally, pray for yourselves! Pray that you never have to live as a malformed slave of Darkseid! Pray that Death can race faster than Anti-Life!joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-678088552631130072009-03-29T18:42:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:05:06.116-07:00COMIX ON PARADE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHhx0wZg3nlv5by1yYDwKu4ousLdVd8Vuj8HVTV_DzjzFdl-4yiYJKUxy1K1SdHFgZe8rGlJvndwOcUAKogoJ6joFlvV70tNUwwtNkHJD98vkfXInB2MnnCodTBxeNXiI1YbfpvwRxHQQ/s1600-h/DD117_cvr.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHhx0wZg3nlv5by1yYDwKu4ousLdVd8Vuj8HVTV_DzjzFdl-4yiYJKUxy1K1SdHFgZe8rGlJvndwOcUAKogoJ6joFlvV70tNUwwtNkHJD98vkfXInB2MnnCodTBxeNXiI1YbfpvwRxHQQ/s400/DD117_cvr.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318807110306139282" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Daredevil #117</span><br /><br />Following the death of his wife, Wilson "The Kingpin" Fisk left America to start a new life in Europe, where he quickly fell in love with a Spanish woman and her two young children. For their sake he had renounced violence, and so it fell upon Lady Bullseye and her army of undead ninja assassins ("The Hand") to brutally murder them, and thereby free Fisk to return to the business of trying to kill Daredevil. This catastrophically stupid plan backfires almost immediately, as the Kingpin does return to New York to find Daredevil, but does so to form an alliance with the intent of destroying The Hand once and for all. Wilson seems to consider this a suicide mission, but seeing as The Hand have never successfully completed any evil plot that I can remember, he probably just has a death wish.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiv9flOWDOJRzF3Yvp_9aiZcrdd40x3maM1Q0_zDFSNURPfuGbNUURsGdho9acAMZFlOSHDI7b-LrzVgHXmD-0wJnSA0wT4m8puhgu4ulncamomUOayEDIMTTrvpHtZ-gLPNYdUhSX5vU/s1600-h/DRKAVEN003_DC11-1.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 264px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiv9flOWDOJRzF3Yvp_9aiZcrdd40x3maM1Q0_zDFSNURPfuGbNUURsGdho9acAMZFlOSHDI7b-LrzVgHXmD-0wJnSA0wT4m8puhgu4ulncamomUOayEDIMTTrvpHtZ-gLPNYdUhSX5vU/s400/DRKAVEN003_DC11-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318807708117883954" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Dark Avengers #3</span><br /><br /><br />We flashback to Norman Osborn sitting down for a heart-to-heart with The Sentry about what it's like to be an out-of-control super-powered lunatic, while a bunch of <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/darkavengers3.jpg">crazy shit like this</a> continues to happen.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUg-aJNzG5egpVf94T1hIYT1YMvlPTQgqOBMaAhrEqYu8szrLwCm0egvhX-LTDuYw3ixZ_ycc0wHW8HvAmeCkc9XPvY-y2XDhXSeZaHobBVDlSEADtv-lmYLfxebiUBwCMLEKlbMkxQw4/s1600-h/CAPA048_cov.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUg-aJNzG5egpVf94T1hIYT1YMvlPTQgqOBMaAhrEqYu8szrLwCm0egvhX-LTDuYw3ixZ_ycc0wHW8HvAmeCkc9XPvY-y2XDhXSeZaHobBVDlSEADtv-lmYLfxebiUBwCMLEKlbMkxQw4/s400/CAPA048_cov.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318807935000291058" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Captain America #48</span><br /><br />Bucky has been captured by the mad scientist Zhang Chin, an enemy from his past who has also managed to kidnap Namor the Sub-Mariner and to resurrect the original Human Torch. Chin intends to use Human Torch as a carrier for a deadly virus he's created, but the Black Widow arrives in time to free the heroes. Bucky manages to stop the virus, while Namor kills Chin and reminds us surface dwellers of the need to control our useless and disgusting emotions -- a lesson both valuable and timely.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKGRY8NWLMTRSs4hYs4GtXbnCKvBjU53xQZeoTU_3fw8W2jLUGMFv3rMk-aQex-LLIoiLABEWXcakR7Gna8ArhAY2-VVsBBcfXf8I_ba_EksaGZfGuBC1ltPbL5BG03WexEA4Sbqz6GEM/s1600-h/Messiah_War.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 386px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKGRY8NWLMTRSs4hYs4GtXbnCKvBjU53xQZeoTU_3fw8W2jLUGMFv3rMk-aQex-LLIoiLABEWXcakR7Gna8ArhAY2-VVsBBcfXf8I_ba_EksaGZfGuBC1ltPbL5BG03WexEA4Sbqz6GEM/s400/Messiah_War.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318809004442214466" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">X-Force/Cable: MESSIAH WAR</span><br /><br />Tired of waiting for Cable to stop dicking around in the future and bring the damn messiah home, Cyclops sends Wolverine and the other mean, pointy X-Men he hangs out with forward through time to find him. Upon arriving they immediately run into Deadpool, who is there not because he has a time machine but because he has just gone on living for a thousand years, and together they set out to find Cable and engage him in a completely pointless fight. Meanwhile, Bishop finds Cable's arch-enemy, his demented clone Stryfe, drinking in a bar. Bishop blames all of the crimes he's committed against humanity on Cable, and promises Stryfe revenge against HIS arch-enemy (Stryfe's, not Bishop's; Bishop's arch-enemy is Cable) Apocalypse if he kills Cable. Oh, and they might all be stuck in the future or something. I guess.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFostCOypb6LGqmYkapkYKgRulsbkM1zCOl1o9-XNtC-zvQSgdd_Iu-B2iOmDwZdZ0Q8u0m8a0_qBEmd33DaWsIfOK78dqXpU-q7kW9kKgL2a87FPnzaYh9ihKe8EN6DwQlD-RgDmCdOE/s1600-h/XMEN_BRADDOCKScov.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFostCOypb6LGqmYkapkYKgRulsbkM1zCOl1o9-XNtC-zvQSgdd_Iu-B2iOmDwZdZ0Q8u0m8a0_qBEmd33DaWsIfOK78dqXpU-q7kW9kKgL2a87FPnzaYh9ihKe8EN6DwQlD-RgDmCdOE/s400/XMEN_BRADDOCKScov.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318809278075647298" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">X-Men: Sword of the Braddocks</span><br /><br />lol I changed my mind, I do not want to read this fucking thingjoshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-1049863820414439272009-03-21T09:19:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:05:06.131-07:00Dark Avengers #1-2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgExSZaR4mC60ff7YsslGVzaKA0XoRCEATvFyTphp1S4eg45iF1eEn7-XXbphAr_1H9pYKs7hOyY4MB4Dexc_pvCKZrZoJ2SANuyPripV-OSmelvfeZwB9l2GOVrdBRVF91T7tiQQftbGI/s1600-h/darkavengersreveal.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgExSZaR4mC60ff7YsslGVzaKA0XoRCEATvFyTphp1S4eg45iF1eEn7-XXbphAr_1H9pYKs7hOyY4MB4Dexc_pvCKZrZoJ2SANuyPripV-OSmelvfeZwB9l2GOVrdBRVF91T7tiQQftbGI/s400/darkavengersreveal.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315694427998597266" /></a><br /><br />Tony Stark's term as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. could fairly be described as troubled. On his watch Captain America was assassinated; his plan to deal with the Hulk backfired and ended with the complete destruction of New York City at the hands of an enraged, unstoppable green monster; and all of his vaunted technology was rendered useless by alien invaders who infiltrated the ranks of government and super hero organizations and briefly conquered the Earth. Even by the standards of the last 8 years this stands out as an exceptional series of cock-ups, and so Stark had to be removed from power. To restore honor and accountability to the position of America's Top Cop comes Norman Osborn, a psychotic super-criminal so senselessly evil that he once chose his high-rise office space for the view it afforded him of the bridge from which he threw Gwen Stacy to her death. Presumably this was the one final fiendish breath drawn by the Bush Administration, but <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/barack_obama_spiderman_comic_cover_.jpg">President Obama</a> has not opposed the appointment.<br /><br />Osborn wastes no time in forming a new Avengers team, comprised of other mentally ill supervillains eager to live out their fantasies of heroism -- Bullseye becomes Hawkeye, Venom becomes Spider-Man, etc -- and a few former Stark Avengers who are either too bloodthirsty or emotionally unstable to care who they're working for, so long as they get to hit things. And yet something is missing, for what are the Avengers without Captain America and Iron Man? This does not escape Norman, and in his glorious insanity he helps himself to one of Iron Man's spare suits*, paints it red, white, and blue, and declares himself THE IRON PATRIOT. <br /><br />The Asshole Avengers have little time to enjoy their posh new lives as superheroes, however: a volatile situation has developed in Eastern Europe. One of Director Osborn's first official acts was to free Dr. Doom from federal prison (cuz, sure, why not) and send him back to his kingdom of Latveria. There he and his envoy are attacked by the Arthurian-era sorceress Morgana le Fey, who had shared what she thought was a tender love affair with Doom only to realize he was using her to gain access to her vast reserves of evil spells. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCnzCbesLPmBsXLX5UxDHVlWFc1W1Sn-qA9b7DMYPr0P1uZpxmbwqCiCcLeo36JTYJ4reIRs4dDdY35CAf4cRlmc-1gBwmbZ9dE90RRRzFHLvvek1noQfp2u44fVIHwYENSi9QVQ20xWg/s1600-h/DOOMMAGIC1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCnzCbesLPmBsXLX5UxDHVlWFc1W1Sn-qA9b7DMYPr0P1uZpxmbwqCiCcLeo36JTYJ4reIRs4dDdY35CAf4cRlmc-1gBwmbZ9dE90RRRzFHLvvek1noQfp2u44fVIHwYENSi9QVQ20xWg/s400/DOOMMAGIC1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315694151732767618" /></a><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">"BAVALOOMNI" is the most powerful magic word. If you are ever engaged in magical combat with an angry 6th-Century sorceress, say it first.</span></blockquote><br /><br />The Avengers arrive to calm things down -- or, more accurately, to <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/sentrymorgana.jpg">tear Morgana's fucking head off</a> -- but she cannot be thwarted so easily, as she continues to reappear from the past to attack them with magic and gargoyles. Is all hope lost? Probably! I'll let you know as soon as I read the new issue!<br /><br />*<span style="font-style:italic;">Easily done, since Stark used federal funds to rebuild his personal infrastructure after it was smashed by the Hulk. Oh, the corruption!</span>joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-66047667142149146132009-02-16T15:43:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.168-07:00THOR #600<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwUJ2wxQTSCiC3erI1xwLz0dkwXpWrKxj_uJdun0bdZ80qAZ0br-mKUCBtACZmKyO3KsgnlS4SsvWW8C3KwMf_8-iR8PC28PorPOI-gznoQ1c8UiWPH8bZVj7iVRx2WHuXn0QS1vG2_4c/s1600-h/THOR600_COV_large.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwUJ2wxQTSCiC3erI1xwLz0dkwXpWrKxj_uJdun0bdZ80qAZ0br-mKUCBtACZmKyO3KsgnlS4SsvWW8C3KwMf_8-iR8PC28PorPOI-gznoQ1c8UiWPH8bZVj7iVRx2WHuXn0QS1vG2_4c/s400/THOR600_COV_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303506176493464290" /></a><br /><br />Loki, that mischievous bitch, resurrects an ancient Asgardian warrior, enchants him so that he thinks everything he sees is demonic, and sets him loose to wreak havoc in Times Square. Thor arrives just in time to get the shit slapped out of him, and when he cries out for reinforcements, Norman Osborne and his Asshole Avengers answer the call and try to arrest them both. Thor heroically beats their asses and manages to strike a desperate final blow against the mad god, slaying him. But lo, what treachery is this? Loki arrives and informs Thor that the Asgardian he's just killed was Bor, father of Odin, grandfather of Thor. <br /><br />In Asgard, the law is clear and absolute, and for his act of deicide Thor must be banished. Unfortunate, because the remaining Asgardians are a hapless, pitifully stupid bunch; and sure enough, with Thor gone it takes Loki something like 15 minutes to convince the lot of them that they should pack up and move to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latveria">Latveria</a>, the most evil place on Earth. Quite why Dr. Doom should want these drunken louts living in his country is not made clear, but doubtless he has some nefarious end in store for them. Tragedy, thy name is Asgard!joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-41981966959105907512008-12-24T20:13:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.248-07:00IT'S CHRISTMAS!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsLm-98uLJX3EJVqYCXvw8kloFIV4mPE3dxuU613LGi5f5jON42jCu2s95JM4UUW5q1PsPNwmkYjDlX6cLeGZ5hmfDDHTpsLnDTVWTGuCcuozxLnununwupRrI5eJToSTrgG9koUy_LC0/s1600-h/TFitschristmas.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 304px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsLm-98uLJX3EJVqYCXvw8kloFIV4mPE3dxuU613LGi5f5jON42jCu2s95JM4UUW5q1PsPNwmkYjDlX6cLeGZ5hmfDDHTpsLnDTVWTGuCcuozxLnununwupRrI5eJToSTrgG9koUy_LC0/s400/TFitschristmas.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283576851346653202" /></a>joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-11904669093341314602008-12-24T20:08:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.255-07:00ULTIMATUM #2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBOiCXfdeR9ZU2c5mF3Kg_1Z3h8BzzhCcLp7GpvgvEAmuK6ZSJeKRsijmL6KThdtP149mnoInNWk9ziZJTuHxji-lBBSDmZnw2iKNkTZ-ZSMzFT05ShAIEF16idgYX-TFYaPvfm9V5gPg/s1600-h/thismanneedsmedicalattention.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 399px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBOiCXfdeR9ZU2c5mF3Kg_1Z3h8BzzhCcLp7GpvgvEAmuK6ZSJeKRsijmL6KThdtP149mnoInNWk9ziZJTuHxji-lBBSDmZnw2iKNkTZ-ZSMzFT05ShAIEF16idgYX-TFYaPvfm9V5gPg/s400/thismanneedsmedicalattention.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283566466593330274" /></a><br /><br />The first thing that any good emergency worker will tell you is that when you've got a critically injured patient on your hands, time is of the essence. A wasted second could be the difference between life and death, and you can't always afford to play by the rules. When the clock is ticking, there may be no time to open a door and walk through it -- instead, crash face-first through the plate glass windows of the hospital, using the patient as a sort of battering ram. It may be the only way to save a life.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-24983514078108832642008-12-18T16:14:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.268-07:00Mighty Avengers #20<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyQD9fbGnHEIW11dwpxQ2tNBVIkcJHApbyHEORQxab-JIAJ2pmlpOAcOBiev_A4rtvZM6PRZrflSGgyG7YFPDpuwqrBvaGghJi0ptIIGztaGLZDnDR4nAY4j1nDHJ7wbf8ikqpCIHOwkk/s1600-h/MIGHTAVN020_cov.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyQD9fbGnHEIW11dwpxQ2tNBVIkcJHApbyHEORQxab-JIAJ2pmlpOAcOBiev_A4rtvZM6PRZrflSGgyG7YFPDpuwqrBvaGghJi0ptIIGztaGLZDnDR4nAY4j1nDHJ7wbf8ikqpCIHOwkk/s400/MIGHTAVN020_cov.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281302249655435602" /></a><br /><br />Just as the full, united force of the Marvel Universe prepared to strike its final blow against the invading Skrull empire, the Skrull Queen pulled one last ace from her sleeve: a deadly biological weapon, hidden inside the DNA of Janet "The Wasp" Pym. The heinous Skrull plot was thwarted, but at the terrible price of Janet's life. This would be the most heart-rending superhero story in decades if there were one single person on Earth who gives the smallest sliver of fuck what happens to Janet Pym. <br /><br />Now, free after years in alien captivity, Hank Pym is forced to confront a world in which the Avengers are shattered and Captain America and his wife are both dead. He attributes this to the bungling of one Mr. Tony Stark, and fair enough, but it seems something of a faux pax to just <span style="font-style:italic;">fuss him out</span> in the middle of Janet's funeral. Luckily reason and good manners return in the appearance of Thor, who gently reassures Hank that Janet has achieved her ultimate triumph in Valhalla (well, he would know, wouldn't he?) before <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/comedoctor.jpg">gently carrying him away</a>, so that the two men may conquer their sorrow together in private. Also, Hawkeye runs into Norman Osborne at the funeral and tells him to get fucked. Where did these so called heroes learn to BEHAVE like this?joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-47553029801136173222008-12-15T19:45:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.277-07:00Liveblogging the Wolverine trailer<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdz0iPtc4TGtTCBOX-ZGBhS5QEYmEA3hBAYfh8eL38n64javxP5fb5tg-CJueIYScZ1s0Di4K1KR9bH2r5T7JrtkTnUytqVEabvamWQogv6l5HQoRy2LoOGPi09JWqdJhW1JhmnECPwc/s1600-h/wolverine-trailer.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 156px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdz0iPtc4TGtTCBOX-ZGBhS5QEYmEA3hBAYfh8eL38n64javxP5fb5tg-CJueIYScZ1s0Di4K1KR9bH2r5T7JrtkTnUytqVEabvamWQogv6l5HQoRy2LoOGPi09JWqdJhW1JhmnECPwc/s400/wolverine-trailer.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280228712732129762" /></a><br /><br />- Apparently Wolverine fought in the American Revolution, and every subsequent war<br /><br />- Ryan Reynolds looks less like Deadpool and more like a huge douchebag, which is just <span style="font-style:italic;">shocking</span><br /><br />- Didn't X2 establish that Brian Cox created Wolverine? Brian Cox owns, why isn't he in this movie<br /><br />- huh yeah I guess that is what Gambit would look like in real life<br /><br />- haha why does Sabertooth run like the effeminate vampires from Twilight<br /><br />- Emma Frost looks less like a femme fatale here and more like a 14 year old girl<br /><br />- unless Colossus was inside that Jeep tossing him out, I'm not sure Wolverine can leap 15 feet into the air<br /><br />- "Do you even know how to kill me?"<br /><br />"I'm gonna cut your head off".<br /><br />Yeah I mean, I guess that would do the trick.<br /><br />- Why isn't Brian Cox in <span style="font-style:italic;">every</span> movie. That guy is the best.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-91613421553464921282008-11-20T06:33:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.334-07:00Changeling<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUgoMzOetBBYj8LtgVUwpt8nMTSWO0-mqjZfw9UA5LK_rkqjQHX_rJEIgiT5uxvtj1cmp7okeoM9E4z0UyAv-CShLNb4pOY8xTxrmyUz8b8V2Eca32rDDZ63nmQDUo7CWSeRsXxsuzWaw/s1600-h/changeling-poster-800x1185.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUgoMzOetBBYj8LtgVUwpt8nMTSWO0-mqjZfw9UA5LK_rkqjQHX_rJEIgiT5uxvtj1cmp7okeoM9E4z0UyAv-CShLNb4pOY8xTxrmyUz8b8V2Eca32rDDZ63nmQDUo7CWSeRsXxsuzWaw/s400/changeling-poster-800x1185.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270749651310620402" /></a><br /><br /><br />As it turns out, this film was written by J Michael Straczynski, whose tenure as writer of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Amazing Spider-Man</span> presented us with:<br /><br />- the revelation that Spider-Man's powers are actually the product of a magical spider cult<br /><br />- Gwen Stacy as the mother of Norman Osborn's bastard children<br /><br />- Peter Parker revealing his secret identity on national television<br /><br />- a grand finale where Peter Parker must negotiate with <span style="font-style:italic;">Satan </span>to re-write history and save his octogenarian aunt from machine gun wounds. <br /><br />In retrospect, it's hard not to wonder if Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada signed off on Straczynski's maniac ideas as a way to purposefully fuck up Spider-Man so bad that he would be left with no choice but to hit the reset button, and thereby fulfill his long-time dream of dumping Mary Jane from the book.<br /><br />Anyway, I'd like to say this justifies my decision to not see this movie, but really I'm just happy to learn that there's so much upward mobility from writing <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0962926/">He-Man adventures</a>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoK1eJTVY-M8mcBulj-CSJu6KypoZxnfJSPbMnvMW7e5iDc7C10TNrLjn8eLC_QyEiXD66OBjqW3vZTmF5Egm3ibGUbf66AAaYNl4tKgRJ01ez2E9g5xdOXg3D9t8HtkMFKjU9gdmJyHA/s1600-h/20080409_111827_heman13ro5.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 330px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoK1eJTVY-M8mcBulj-CSJu6KypoZxnfJSPbMnvMW7e5iDc7C10TNrLjn8eLC_QyEiXD66OBjqW3vZTmF5Egm3ibGUbf66AAaYNl4tKgRJ01ez2E9g5xdOXg3D9t8HtkMFKjU9gdmJyHA/s400/20080409_111827_heman13ro5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270769403583567122" /></a>joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-49900988857145163762008-11-12T19:15:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.376-07:00ULTIMATUM #1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3195tnwQM8c8U2nzhBMiNZWxUuLvoYBpe0Cu_iu0-fsdBMR3EQI5L6sWghVWeR4hSgR8yylrkUAlrXhyphenhyphentyZvacFzZgV-9tQAqG99jgYzH0jJTd9d4ApKz_rG19R86yP9QUPe1mXVK_2o/s1600-h/ULTMTM001_cov.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3195tnwQM8c8U2nzhBMiNZWxUuLvoYBpe0Cu_iu0-fsdBMR3EQI5L6sWghVWeR4hSgR8yylrkUAlrXhyphenhyphentyZvacFzZgV-9tQAqG99jgYzH0jJTd9d4ApKz_rG19R86yP9QUPe1mXVK_2o/s400/ULTMTM001_cov.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267987641876088914" /></a><br />Alright Jeph Loeb, are you ready to save the motherfuckin' Ultimate universe?! HELL YEAH BRO LET'S DO THIS THING.<br /><br />First we are treated to an intimate moment with each character, where they are placed in a setting that allows them to explain, out loud, whatever Loeb feels is their defining character trait (helpful for the reader who is maybe not familiar with, say, Spider-Man). Tony Stark is given room to <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/martini.jpg">celebrate his alcoholism</a>, Johnny Storm screams petulantly that is father will "never get" him, the Thing lifts something heavy, and so on. Suddenly it gets a bit dreary out, and New York is destroyed by a tidal wave that kills roughly half of the superheroes. I know it's a tidal wave only because Mark told me so -- the art does nothing to convey this, and the book leaves us with the impression that Earth's Mightiest Heroes have been done in by a rainy day. <br /><br />The book is structured in such a way that when Magneto is revealed as the culprit on the last page, it's meant to be a surprise -- and it certainly would be surprising, considering Magneto is not known for his ability to create fucking tidal waves -- were it not for the fact that his face is plastered over all of the advertising for this stupid comic. In his address over the Emergency Psychic Broadcast System, Professor Xavier informs the remaining heroes that Magneto had long spoken of his "doomsday plan" to kill everyone on Earth(!), but apparently Charles never believed he'd go through with it. Really now, Professor, you are a doctor of psychology. How could you disregard such a blatant cry for help? Shame on you. <br /><br />Jeph Loeb had, at one point, been a perfectly competent hack, producing some pretty decent sequels to Batman: Year One, but this... this is not good. The plot is the absolute dregs of hackneyed superhero crossover fare , the dialogue is beyond preposterous, and the art is both ugly and confusing. It almost seems an excess of charity to call this "shit", but I'm at a loss for something more repellent to compare it to. If you can think of something worse than shit, please let me know.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-68427997193064252102008-11-12T07:08:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.383-07:00rofl<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i37.tinypic.com/2h7ih5y.gif"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 180px;" src="http://i37.tinypic.com/2h7ih5y.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a>joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-43656564227537154642008-11-11T17:52:00.000-08:002009-08-16T19:05:06.394-07:00CABLE #8<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFG66i14ZBe7XTM0C3AhqQz4I87pFBwrGW4AmhRqMWka5qm5uxOwVFS6iCN6WMQfVt44crChAE66PuLkI4A5-gABw4VgpQr5n8R8XyHPBN0ek1FniWhLWLLh0yn7dmNqKAr3eN8pmaSJ0/s1600-h/CABLE008.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFG66i14ZBe7XTM0C3AhqQz4I87pFBwrGW4AmhRqMWka5qm5uxOwVFS6iCN6WMQfVt44crChAE66PuLkI4A5-gABw4VgpQr5n8R8XyHPBN0ek1FniWhLWLLh0yn7dmNqKAr3eN8pmaSJ0/s400/CABLE008.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267590592757171058" /></a><br /><br />Any fears I may have had that this book had regained its senses are thankfully put to rest here. Under psychic torture, Bishop gives up the details of his plan: he's been running around in the future detonating nuclear weapons all over the world, killing millions and making large chunks of the planet uninhabitable, so that Cable has less room to hide. To his mind this doesn't constitute genocide, because killing the kid will invalidate the timeline and everything will just start over. Well, sure, of course. Beast strongly objects to the advanced interrogation techniques used here, and I can totally see where he's coming from -- I believe the Geneva Conventions should be adhered to and Guantanamo closed -- but come on Hank, the guy tried to shoot a baby with a goddamn bazooka.<br /><br />Now that Bishop has successfully reduced much of the future Earth to a smoldering cinder, Cable finds himself under attack by a band of marauders who survived the nuclear holocaust by, quite ingeniously, splicing their DNA and turning themselves into <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/cableroachman.jpg">human cockroaches</a>. Having literally <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2feoIM9baI">buried his guns in the ground </a>(a very nice symbolic gesture, if perhaps a touch naive) Cable is forced to hack these roach men apart with a chainsaw, which is certainly not a scene I ever expected to see here, but this comic is nothing if not full of surprises.joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-59885584225600692152008-10-30T19:29:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:05:06.473-07:00Captain America #43<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgep4PW-hnLzh3KUXCDtQH4VGAhWBr6WlUobW38OrnVrz7odXh4BXZzfvUIb9xusPNGIE0yLKtdtfCbX-r2jAGtf8i85Tqt2ev7s5rEgxUFrS-5AW4VO0ExfcvnEcxPTpqs-C-FQnV-Cfg/s1600-h/cap43.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgep4PW-hnLzh3KUXCDtQH4VGAhWBr6WlUobW38OrnVrz7odXh4BXZzfvUIb9xusPNGIE0yLKtdtfCbX-r2jAGtf8i85Tqt2ev7s5rEgxUFrS-5AW4VO0ExfcvnEcxPTpqs-C-FQnV-Cfg/s400/cap43.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263145005813736258" /></a><br /><br /><br />In this issue, Bucky gets his ass kicked by Batroc the Leaper.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2guXDj-VAOoEcbP7QDwPzJxpEpOVRuTN8dMRD6ozW69Ooh50bkcbuylKT-aDlkxBt_piN0NmcAqU7hc56PVbruLhFfObqkC6KfKPXdAW33BT4mLi5U8-owpI5USikVyWWYTMTZDqtzP8/s1600-h/batroczeleaper+copy.png"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 347px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2guXDj-VAOoEcbP7QDwPzJxpEpOVRuTN8dMRD6ozW69Ooh50bkcbuylKT-aDlkxBt_piN0NmcAqU7hc56PVbruLhFfObqkC6KfKPXdAW33BT4mLi5U8-owpI5USikVyWWYTMTZDqtzP8/s400/batroczeleaper+copy.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263144009207947282" /></a><br /><br />Bucky est donné des coups de pied son âne par le Batroc Leaper. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVO8niusQivF_wMJgWtWPRtBkwJzPnsNUGbiCqLFjKoFjJOzTMTlMK5KEHOIvP2gHtjU5AOQcDOuNUQw3NRGhGgUh1wJ9QMo7Gw6nm6fihdm-F8r43YBi-BITTxLMBKCCvTl83NFMxJI/s1600-h/batrocoui.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 318px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVO8niusQivF_wMJgWtWPRtBkwJzPnsNUGbiCqLFjKoFjJOzTMTlMK5KEHOIvP2gHtjU5AOQcDOuNUQw3NRGhGgUh1wJ9QMo7Gw6nm6fihdm-F8r43YBi-BITTxLMBKCCvTl83NFMxJI/s400/batrocoui.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263144486689171794" /></a><br />Comment embarrassant!joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-67852374868836977052008-10-30T16:31:00.000-07:002009-08-16T19:05:06.457-07:00THOR #11<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg7QELlOpg0grwXFKrlZZQ00s2CNHa_AIYo4VNJZANlZkKfGaPT9yg1s-3U6G621nZx7_ITKEjSfPsq1CN9JIABIE6q0B89H7STmNRMJdArBxSfH_Fy8V18vwP6KGXyXY5JzCaS4KS0Ow/s1600-h/thor11.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg7QELlOpg0grwXFKrlZZQ00s2CNHa_AIYo4VNJZANlZkKfGaPT9yg1s-3U6G621nZx7_ITKEjSfPsq1CN9JIABIE6q0B89H7STmNRMJdArBxSfH_Fy8V18vwP6KGXyXY5JzCaS4KS0Ow/s400/thor11.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263100802238172962" /></a><br /><br />It's been a year since the death of Steve Rogers, and Thor finally gets around to visiting the Captain America memorial in New York to pay his damn respects. Upon arriving, he attempts to summon forth Cap's soul -- a gesture that seems almost touching in its sad futility, until <a href="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/iwasalion/captainghost.jpg">Captain America's literal ghost</a> appears (!). Ghost Captain America charitably declines Thor's offer to avenge his death, but does go on to complain that his soul cannot rest because political pundits won't stop exploiting his death for ratings. It may seem unbecoming for the spirit of history's greatest hero to be so agitated by the nightly news, but the mighty Thor is nothing if not accommodating, and he uses his Hammer of the Gods to disrupt the transmission of cable news networks for sixty seconds of silence. Deeply touching. <br /><br />Meanwhile, the other Norse gods are getting bored in Oklahoma, and the sexy new Loki begins planting the seeds for war between Asgard and Earth. This may strike you as an issue more urgently requiring the attention of Thor than making sure cranky old ghosts don't get too worked up when they watch TV, but the thoughts of the gods are not ours to understand, my friends.<br /><br />EDITOR'S NOTE: i am not joking all of that really happened in this issuejoshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7291188703853829127.post-42533160850794679042008-10-17T18:55:00.000-07:002009-08-16T18:55:38.366-07:00I saw "Watchmen" for sale at Wal-Mart today<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-mhE9FdDdPx4EEZEd8zX0R6Q6GwQvznzEPaeJgZkd6BJniTtqSnKxKlLTfs3zpDfP9apdszM2TdKzPzy64KtdZ_Wy-fnPrxfmNw3KaX7taOzYXXvP_iCvvYYsvEnXYtpNYoKg-JOeOeI/s1600-h/drmanhattan_hulk.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-mhE9FdDdPx4EEZEd8zX0R6Q6GwQvznzEPaeJgZkd6BJniTtqSnKxKlLTfs3zpDfP9apdszM2TdKzPzy64KtdZ_Wy-fnPrxfmNw3KaX7taOzYXXvP_iCvvYYsvEnXYtpNYoKg-JOeOeI/s320/drmanhattan_hulk.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258130788293047362" /></a><br /><br />This new world is very different from the one I grew up injoshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04476793986978863494noreply@blogger.com0