Monday, February 16, 2009
Loki, that mischievous bitch, resurrects an ancient Asgardian warrior, enchants him so that he thinks everything he sees is demonic, and sets him loose to wreak havoc in Times Square. Thor arrives just in time to get the shit slapped out of him, and when he cries out for reinforcements, Norman Osborne and his Asshole Avengers answer the call and try to arrest them both. Thor heroically beats their asses and manages to strike a desperate final blow against the mad god, slaying him. But lo, what treachery is this? Loki arrives and informs Thor that the Asgardian he's just killed was Bor, father of Odin, grandfather of Thor.
In Asgard, the law is clear and absolute, and for his act of deicide Thor must be banished. Unfortunate, because the remaining Asgardians are a hapless, pitifully stupid bunch; and sure enough, with Thor gone it takes Loki something like 15 minutes to convince the lot of them that they should pack up and move to Latveria, the most evil place on Earth. Quite why Dr. Doom should want these drunken louts living in his country is not made clear, but doubtless he has some nefarious end in store for them. Tragedy, thy name is Asgard!