Wednesday, December 24, 2008



The first thing that any good emergency worker will tell you is that when you've got a critically injured patient on your hands, time is of the essence. A wasted second could be the difference between life and death, and you can't always afford to play by the rules. When the clock is ticking, there may be no time to open a door and walk through it -- instead, crash face-first through the plate glass windows of the hospital, using the patient as a sort of battering ram. It may be the only way to save a life.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Mighty Avengers #20

Just as the full, united force of the Marvel Universe prepared to strike its final blow against the invading Skrull empire, the Skrull Queen pulled one last ace from her sleeve: a deadly biological weapon, hidden inside the DNA of Janet "The Wasp" Pym. The heinous Skrull plot was thwarted, but at the terrible price of Janet's life. This would be the most heart-rending superhero story in decades if there were one single person on Earth who gives the smallest sliver of fuck what happens to Janet Pym.

Now, free after years in alien captivity, Hank Pym is forced to confront a world in which the Avengers are shattered and Captain America and his wife are both dead. He attributes this to the bungling of one Mr. Tony Stark, and fair enough, but it seems something of a faux pax to just fuss him out in the middle of Janet's funeral. Luckily reason and good manners return in the appearance of Thor, who gently reassures Hank that Janet has achieved her ultimate triumph in Valhalla (well, he would know, wouldn't he?) before gently carrying him away, so that the two men may conquer their sorrow together in private. Also, Hawkeye runs into Norman Osborne at the funeral and tells him to get fucked. Where did these so called heroes learn to BEHAVE like this?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Liveblogging the Wolverine trailer

- Apparently Wolverine fought in the American Revolution, and every subsequent war

- Ryan Reynolds looks less like Deadpool and more like a huge douchebag, which is just shocking

- Didn't X2 establish that Brian Cox created Wolverine? Brian Cox owns, why isn't he in this movie

- huh yeah I guess that is what Gambit would look like in real life

- haha why does Sabertooth run like the effeminate vampires from Twilight

- Emma Frost looks less like a femme fatale here and more like a 14 year old girl

- unless Colossus was inside that Jeep tossing him out, I'm not sure Wolverine can leap 15 feet into the air

- "Do you even know how to kill me?"

"I'm gonna cut your head off".

Yeah I mean, I guess that would do the trick.

- Why isn't Brian Cox in every movie. That guy is the best.